Hello LuLu, thank you very much for your kind comment; it was good of you to take the trouble to say that and fantastic that you thought of offering to donate to us. We have been very fortunate in that we have now found a wonderful woman who offered to donate her eggs to us, and so we hope that if all goes well we shall one day be able to announce some good news! But if you are interested in donating your eggs to another couple, I know that the Clinic (the Logan Centre in London) would be very happy to give you more information about what would be involved.
We did look into adoption, yes, many people understandably ask that. It’s quite a long story but I’ll be quick with it here!
We contacted the adoption agency about six years ago, when we lived in a small cottage in the country that didn’t have a spare bedroom. We knew that the process took a long time, so asked if we could start the process while we sold our own house and moved to a bigger one so that we could give a child/children a home and our love and care and their own space. The agency said no, because (and I did understand this) sometimes the process is really quick, and they didn’t want to have to tell a child that we were their new Mum and Dad but they couldn’t have us yet because we didn’t have room, or though we could have made room temporarily room it would have meant them moving from care and going to school in one area and then when we did move having to change schools. So that made sense and we put the house on the market, sold it and bought another one nearer to our parents and schools and work etc. That took about a year and a half.
Then we collected the forms from the agency, and one part said that we would only be accepted if we could honestly say that we had "given up all hope" of having a child of our own. We also spoke to someone at the agency who said that we would not be considered as adoptive parents until at least 9 months (how appropriate) had passed after our decision to stop fertility treatment of any kind. Well we’d had IVF twice and failed and had already been discussing the option of asking someone to donate their eggs to us, because I had to know, in order to be able to reach some kind of ‘closure’ on our heartbreak, that we had tried everything, otherwise I’d always be wondering. Therefore we could not honestly answer Yes to that question. And so we decided to try, and if we failed then it would be our third failure and we would know that I was not destined to bear a child, and we would be able go back to the agency 9 months afterwards and could answer Yes to the question in all sincerity.
We contacted the Clinic and received an appointment, and they found that I had a fibroid which would have to be removed before we could even begin recruiting a donor, and that took a year. Then two ladies came forward to offer, but for various reasons they changed their minds, as they were quite entitled to do, and as you would be if you decided that you would like to offer.
And all that took another year – that is how the time went by! And we knew that the Clinic would only accept us until July 2008 and no later, so we decided that having come so far we just had to have one last try, hence the advert on the bus that you saw.
I hope that explains how we got this far; I’ve condensed lots of years into a few sentences, but hopefully it will make sense.