Continuing on; what I meant to include – only I finished rather abruptly, because it was time for the Final of “Britain’s Got Talent” and I had to see who won! – was the fact that sometimes things go on and on but nobody remembers how they started in the first place.
Mum & Dad have always been resilient and self-sufficient, and so I became so, either because I inherited it or because I shared their pride in being so. It just seemed natural to me. And over the years, through all my working life and most of my personal life, I’ve been the strong one, mentally and physically. Not just the “Would you lift this onto the desk for me pleeease because you’re so strong and I don’t want to break my nails!!”, or the helping of drivers to push their cars out of snowdrifts, or push-starting them when they’ve conked out in the middle of the road, but also the “Linda will deal with it”, “Ask Linda”, “Tell Linda, she’s sure to know what to do”. And I don’t always know, of course, but I will always try to help or find out who can help.
But because I just dealt with everything people very rarely thought to ask if I needed help, and it never occurred to me to ask.
I have to ring the London Fertility Clinic tomorrow to book an appointment with the doctor. This is what I have been dreading, of course, in case they find another fibroid or something else that needs dealing with. R has said that he should be tested too – if there’s anything wrong with his ‘donation’ then there will be no point in going any further.
This is certainly testing my resilience!
I will, by the way, keep you informed IF anything wonderful does happen. However, if we are lucky enough to find a volunteer donor, I won’t post that here right away because it would not be fair on her. The Clinic have said that the ‘paparazzi’ could read this and if I said that someone was going in for an appointment on a certain day to donate on our behalf, she could be pounced on for her story on the way in or out.
If she decides afterwards that she’d like to tell everyone then that is fine by me, but I don’t want to be the cause of any invasion of her privacy because of something that I’ve written here.
It is highly unlikely that anyone would do that, but for her sake I cannot take that risk.