Life went back to normal, more or less.  Back to work, busy with the Conference.  Phone calls, e-mails etc. while trying to do the ‘work’ as well.  I was a bit daft to take it on really but I offered last summer, and it was meant to go ahead in September last year, but for reasons outside my control it could not do so, and had to be deferred until June, when everything else is happening!

To continue with our tale of the second IVF/ICSI attempt.  On the way home after embryo transfer we’d gone into a shopping arcade, and I saw a sports section.  Mum and Dad had taken up indoor short-mat bowling.  Don’t ask me why, it was completely bonkers I know, but I bought two bowl cleaning/polishing cloths with bowls embroidered on them, in case our attempt worked and I became pregnant.  I wanted to be able to give my parents these presents from their future unborn grandchild/grandchildren.  We were quite near to Christmas; I didn’t know how I’d be able to keep the secret if I was pregnant, but I just thought that it would be such a wonderful way to announce our Happy News!

Part of me knew that it was bad luck to think about it, but somehow it seemed right; as if the thought that had come to me as swiftly as blinking meant that this time the dream would come true.  Before I knew it I’d picked up the cloths and joined the queue at the counter.  Imagine their faces!  I smiled at the thought.

It was the “Third Happy Mother’s Day Balloon” all over again – only this time, maybe, this would be the right time.

Over the next few days I was careful with what I did, and paid someone else to do my ironing, as I had said earlier, but I didn’t wrap myself in cotton wool. I went to work, I was normal, we visited both sets of parents, we chatted about all sorts of other things, and our three embryos came with me, everywhere I went.  Had any of them latched on yet?  Was I the mother of a baby, twins or triplets yet?

If you watch old movies you will always know when a woman is pregnant because she will suddenly be dizzy.  She’ll go outside, suddenly, and usually in the middle of a conversation, because she “just needed some fresh air”.  Then she would probably grab a door post and sway a little on her feet, and might even faint into her worried husband’s arms.  “Aha!  Pregnant!” we used to shout with glee, and were invariably proved right.  Nowadays you’re more likely to see the woman on her knees with her head down the loo in the pub, heaving and gasping.

I have always hated, and dreaded, being sick.  To have three months of morning sickness seems like unimaginable hell to me.  But oh, how I now really wanted to wake up one morning and have my own stomach heave!  I mean, I’d prefer the more feminine swaying and fainting, of course, but still……


About Linda Weeks

About my life with the daughter I thought I'd never have - but I did, thanks to a wonderful anonymous egg donor, to whom I will be forever grateful. xx
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