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Boxing Day; we’re off out soon to one of R’s sisters and her family.  Two young daughters, S aged 2 and a half and E aged 13 months; her partner, his Mum and Dad and his brother, R’s Mum and us two.

Yesterday throughout the laughter and jollity it was as though an icy fog kept descending upon me and clutching cold fingers around my heart.  Why, why oh why oh why, were there no grandchildren chattering away, playing with their toys?  That’s what R’s Mum has had all weekend.  In fact, including her first granddaughter, has had for years and years and years.  Where are my parents’ grandchildren?  Will they ever have them?  That makes me really upset, and really angry.

And now it’s a quarter to three; time for R and me to go and get changed, go outside, get in the car and go and join his family (OK, yes I know, they are my family too) and be jolly, and play with the children, and put all these thoughts behind me.

Come on girl, pull yourself together!  Stop being so depressing and get on with it and be jolly!!  Put on The Happy Face!

Off we go……

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About Linda Weeks

About my life with the daughter I thought I'd never have - but I did, thanks to a wonderful anonymous egg donor, to whom I will be forever grateful. xx
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