What torrential rain we’re having today!  It reminds me of when I was little; one of my grandmothers lived on a farm, and I can still remember visits after rain where the ruts made by tractor tyres would fill with water.  I thought that it was magic!  I can still smell the wonderful unmistakeable smell of fresh rain in the countryside.  Negotiating the farmyard would have been tricky were it not for our wonderful little wellies!  One spring we found that she was looking a lamb that had been rejected by its mother, and my brother D and I were allowed to take turns in holding the bottle to feed it.  We had to hold the bottle very tightly because the lamb was so enthusiastic to get at the warm milk that he/she would tug it right out of our hands!

Happy days.

Talking of which, we were out on Saturday as well, because we went to Hobbycraft to stock up on items for cardmaking, and then lunch out at a nearby village (Headcorn) and a walk around the shops in the High Street.

It was lovely, and made all the more precious to me because this wonderful couple, my Mum and Dad,  were with us – I just wish that their grandchildren could have been with us so that they could have had the joy of sharing the day with them.

But, they were not.  I could not manage to give them the experience of being able to hug their grandchildren in the way that other people can.  There we all were, six adults, with no children excited about choosing things for making special birthday cards; no childish talk of what’s happening at school; no giving Nan & Grandad the pictures they had drawn specially.

I know that there are real tragedies in the world.  People are ill; people are dying; people are living in misery and poverty.  But that doesn’t make this pain any less real to me, the fact that our lives are completely and utterly childless.


About Linda Weeks

About my life with the daughter I thought I'd never have - but I did, thanks to a wonderful anonymous egg donor, to whom I will be forever grateful. xx
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