Finally, late in December 1997, we received the call to start on the treatment. The first fortnight I was taking the Buserelin nasal spray again, and the words of our local pharmacist echoed in my head. When I took it before for the fibroids she had said that she was interested to know that I was taking it for that reason because until then she’d only known it as a fertility drug.
I had to take it at exactly the same times each day. This could have been tricky if I’d had any meetings at work – I still hadn’t told anybody yet – but I didn’t have any, and everything went well.
Christmas came and went, and so did the New Year, and I managed with the spray without any of our family knowing either.
As I was decorating the tree this year, and dishing up the dinner, and everyone was happily playing games or going for a little walk down the road and back, I hugged my secret to myself.
I couldn’t help feeling how different it might all be next Christmas, next New Year, with our little one(s) in his/her/their cot. Oh, what a wonderful picture that was! And how I wish that I hadn’t seen it in my mind, but I saw it as clearly as day. Can you picture it too? The proud Mum and Dad, the ecstatic Grandparents?
Then, however, in the New Year, I did have to tell my boss at work. This was because the clinic said that the second phase, where I have the injections, would be monitored by way of scans and I would have to visit the clinic several times during the next fortnight. If they decided that I should go two days’ running, then I’d have to go.
I knew that I wouldn’t be able to suddenly take leave without a reason; I don’t take sick leave when I’m not ill, and I had already booked the two weeks following embryo transfer off as annual leave, so that I could stay at home and be very, very careful.
So I told my line manager. She was very sympathetic, and said that I could take annual leave days suddenly if I needed to; I just needed to let another member of our team know, and the receptionist. Which meant that I had to explain our situation to three people.
That was OK, I didn’t mind exactly, and the other two were crossing their fingers for us, too.
The spray was finished.
The injections began.