Finally, late in December 1997, we received the call to start on the treatment.  The first fortnight I was taking the Buserelin nasal spray again, and the words of our local pharmacist echoed in my head.  When I took it before for the fibroids she had said that she was interested to know that I was taking it for that reason because until then she’d only known it as a fertility drug.

I had to take it at exactly the same times each day.  This could have been tricky if I’d had any meetings at work – I still hadn’t told anybody yet – but I didn’t have any, and everything went well.

Christmas came and went, and so did the New Year, and I managed with the spray without any of our family knowing either.

As I was decorating the tree this year, and dishing up the dinner, and everyone was happily playing games or going for a little walk down the road and back, I hugged my secret to myself.

I couldn’t help feeling how different it might all be next Christmas, next New Year, with our little one(s) in his/her/their cot.  Oh, what a wonderful picture that was!  And how I wish that I hadn’t seen it in my mind, but I saw it as clearly as day.  Can you picture it too?  The proud Mum and Dad, the ecstatic Grandparents?

Then, however, in the New Year, I did have to tell my boss at work.  This was because the clinic said that the second phase, where I have the injections, would be monitored by way of scans and I would have to visit the clinic several times during the next fortnight.  If they decided that I should go two days’ running, then I’d have to go.

I knew that I wouldn’t be able to suddenly take leave without a reason; I don’t take sick leave when I’m not ill, and I had already booked the two weeks following embryo transfer off as annual leave, so that I could stay at home and be very, very careful.

So I told my line manager.  She was very sympathetic, and said that I could take annual leave days suddenly if I needed to; I just needed to let another member of our team know, and the receptionist.  Which meant that I had to explain our situation to three people.

That was OK, I didn’t mind exactly, and the other two were crossing their fingers for us, too.

The spray was finished.

The injections began.


About Linda Weeks

About my life with the daughter I thought I'd never have - but I did, thanks to a wonderful anonymous egg donor, to whom I will be forever grateful. xx
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